


These Words Are Knives They Often Leave Scars

by theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-10 04:37:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2011197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming/pseuds/theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based upon this <a href="http://officialteenwolfprompts.tumblr.com/post/83427569614/sterek-prompts-soulmate-au">prompt</a></p><p>Stiles has known for a long time who is soulmate was.  But after tragedy takes center stage in this person's life, Stiles keeps quiet, feeling that he does not need to be another cause of pain in his soulmate's life.  But perhaps he is just what that person needs to turn their life around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look, another un-beta'd story!
> 
> One of three fics I'm trying to re-activate my brain with.
> 
> Suggestions and grammar corrections always welcome.
> 
> I can be found on [ tumblr](http://www.theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming.tumblr.com)

“Stiles, just let me see it.”

“No.”

“Come on man,” Scott said as he reached for Stiles' wrist, which only caused him to get hit in the face as Stiles instinctively flailed his limbs. They’d been friends for a long time but Scott had never seen the name tattooed across Stiles’ wrist like a birth mark. At least he could not remember seeing it. Stiles had adopted the fashion statement of pairing every shirt with a long sleeve shirt, usually the flannel kind. 

“Scott, just drop it okay. I’ve never wanted to show you up until this point, why would that suddenly change?”

“Maybe because curiosity is finally getting the best of me Stiles. We’re high school seniors. We’re about to go off to college, maybe I want to be the best wingman ever and be on the lookout for that one chick who is destined to own your heart! I don’t understand what your big deal about it is anyway. I’ve never hidden mine from you.” 

Scott glanced down at his wrist as he idly traced the name written there. _Allison Argent_.

Stiles could feel his anger rising.

“Because Scott,” Stiles answered, articulating the T in Scott’s name a bit too much, “Maybe I stopped trusting whatever it meant a long time ago. What is the point of knowing your soul mate when it can be ripped away from you at a moment’s notice! What kind of sick joke is it to spend your whole life searching, finding that person, falling in love, and then they are gone just like that!” He gripped his wrist tightly, hoping the pressure would make the mark disappear. 

“You weren’t there. You didn’t have to live with my dad. Every day I watched him battle the pain. I’d watch him accidentally catch site of his wrist and tears would come to his eyes. It’s not something I want or need in my life.” He grabbed his things from the lunch table they were currently sitting at together. He was done arguing about this with Scott. 

He had gotten a few steps away from the table before turning back and adding, “And besides,” he paused, “ it’s not a chick that is destined to own my heart.” He turned and started walking away again.

Had he turned around once more, he would have seen Scott’s mouth hanging open like a barn door.

Stiles was lucky he had an AP class after lunch. It was one of the few classes Scott was not in. He knew that the knowledge bomb he had dropped before leaving the cafeteria was not going to put an end to the discussion. If anything, it would leave Scott with even more questions. And right on cue, his phone started buzzing with text messages.

_Dude. Why did you never tell me!?!?!_  


Followed closely by

_Now I feel like an ass. It’s cool if you’re matched with a dude. I guess I’d always assumed that… I mean, it’s not like I knew any better._

Stiles just smirked and decided not to reply to the texts because, more often than not, Scott could be that much of a dumb ass.

Class had passed by too quickly. The teacher had been droning on about a big quarterly assignment that was due in a few weeks. Luckily, Stiles was almost completely done with it. He had felt productive a few weekends ago when everyone was out with their significant others.

Scott was not the only one who had managed to find his soul mate in high school. Lydia had found Jackson. Erica had found Boyd. Danny had found Ethan.  
Only Stiles, Isaac, and Aiden were left without their other half. Isaac and Aiden, however, had no problems being the 3rd, 5th, or 7th wheels on date night. That was just not Stiles’ cup of tea. It was bad enough that most of Scott’s conversations involved Allison. Stiles did not want to be there on date night. 

The bell rang to signal class and school were over. Stiles had not realized how much he had been dreading the moment up until that point. He would have no way to avoid Scott now. And with the information Stiles had revealed earlier, there was no way Scott was going to drop the subject any time soon. He made it to his locker without seeing any sign of Scott, which was surprising to say the least.

“Stiles! Hey we’re all heading to the preserve for the afternoon to hang, if you want to come.” 

Stiles had just opened his locker and was depositing his school books inside. 

“Derek is going to bring food and a grill. It was his idea actually as a sort of… pack bonding thing. He said to make sure to invite you, Danny, and Allison. You guys are just as muck pack as we are.” Scott had finally stopped talking and was waiting for Stiles’ response.

Two years ago, Stiles would have been absolutely against the idea (for more reason than Scott could image). But truthfully, they had all grown close and an afternoon with friends would be a great escape.

Stiles took a deep breath and closed his locker, "Okay Scott. I'll join in. I'm not sure I trust Derek on food duty since I probably can't stomach things you weres can but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?" 

Scott was grinning from ear to ear as Stiles placed his hands on his shoulder and lead him out of the building. Stiles just hoped he could make it through the rest of the afternoon without Scott trying to bring up his soulmate again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I feel like I should hash out just what this universe includes.  
> Derek is still the Alpha. Nothing against True-Alpha Scott, but I loved Derek as the Alpha, even if he was a bit misguided.  
> Jackson was still bitten/turned into the Kanima/fixed.   
> There was no Alpha pack things, but the twins are still in this universe.  
> At this point in time, Cora, Malia, and Kira are not in this universe but I'll have to see where the story goes/if they are needed. 
> 
> As always this story is unbeta'd. All mistakes are my own. Comments, Questions, Criticisms Always Welcome.  
> And you can find me on [tumblr](http://www.theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming.tumblr.com)

The afternoon was spent in the company of friends, of pack. They threw around various sports balls, hiked through the trails, and of course consumed tons and tons of food (which Derek managed to make edible? Who knew the guy could cook?). 

Stiles was sitting with Isaac and Aiden, having a wild debate about when it was appropriate to wear scarves in California, while Derek was cleaning up some of the food mess and the others were busy cuddling. Stiles guessed it was the setting sun that made the perfect romantic atmosphere. Because seriously, who cuddles when there are friends to hang with?

Isaac was just about to try to defend his current scarf argument when Erica’s voice rose above everything else.

“Scott, you’re dead!”

Everything erupted into chaos. Everyone jumped to their feet and took off running in different directions, while Stiles sat on the ground dumbfounded.

“Umm, did I miss something?” Stiles questioned, before Isaac and Aiden got too far away.

“Scott was throwing leaves at everyone. I guess the one that hit Erica had mud or bugs or something. So we have a pissed off Erica and what sounds like a very fun game of tag happening!” Isaac yelled back without stopping.

“Well, have fun with werewolf tag; I’m sitting this one out. I trip over enough things during the day when I can actually see.” Stiles remained seated on the ground, hoping all werewolf ears would have heard his statement.

Behind him, he heard Derek huff and (Stiles assumed) give an accompanying head shake and/or eye roll. Things Derek usually did when it came to anything Stiles did or said.

“Laugh it up Sourwolf. But you know it’s true. And I don’t need to be running scared through the woods because some people take their tag game way too seriously.” Stiles crossed his arms in disgust.

“Stiles, I thought you weren’t scared of Big Bad Wolves.” Derek raised one of his eyebrows.

“I… I mean.. Forget It. You try being the puny human with a bunch of your “friends” coming towards you with glowing eyes, pointy teeth, and claws. See how you’d like it. Why don’t you go back to cleaning!” Stiles started throwing grass and leaves, looking real mature for a 17 year old. Behind him, Derek simply smirked and returned to putting leftover food in take-away containers.

It took a few minutes more for Stiles to realize that he and Derek were not the only ones sitting out this round of tag. Allison and Lydia were a few yards away, deep in conversation. Stiles thought about getting up and going to sit with them, but in that moment they both stood up and started walking towards him. 

Stiles busied himself by playing with his shoelaces while he waited. He would glance up from time to time, only to notice that Allison and Lydia were sneaking glances, which did not give him a good feeling.

“Two girls like you, having looks like those, makes a guy feel real nervous,” he said as they were only a few feet away.

Lydia gave him a smug look as she sat down to the left of him, while Allison moved around to sit on his right.

“What were you two talking about anyway? It must have been something really interesting.. or dangerous to require those looks my way.”

“Nothing really…” Allison said with a shy smile, “But Scott might have mentioned your soulmate revelation and I might have wanted to see if Lydia was aware.”

If Stiles’ eyes could have gotten any bigger, they might have popped out of the sockets. “Oh no. Not here. Not now. Not ever. We are not discussing this, especially after today.”

“Stiles, I wasn’t going to push anything, I know how you feel about it.” Allison let her voice grow quiet at the end of the sentence, seeming to signal that she was done with the subject.

Stiles’ defense fell a bit, knowing the subject was already ending.

Lydia placed a hand on his knee, squeezing lightly, “Well she might drop it, but I won’t.” 

Stiles groaned at the same time Allison chided, “Lydia…”

“No Allison. I’m done letting his life-long sulk train ride on.” She turned so she was facing Stiles, “You have to tell them.”

“Wait.. has he even met them? I know Scott found out it was a guy’s name but he is under the impression Stiles has yet to meet them.” Allison questioned.

“Met them.. ha.” Lydia scoffed.

Meanwhile, Stiles was sputtering to find his words. “Lydia how would you know if I’ve met them?”

“Because Stiles…” She paused, calculating how to say her next statement, “Because I’ve known since third grade who your soulmate is.”

Stiles mouth fell open and his heart rate picked up, which only made matters worse as someone else took notice.

“Stiles?” Derek called from where he was now cleaning the portable grill they had used to barbeque. “Is everything alright?” Derek was about to put the towel he was using down and walk over.

“Fine.” Stiles managed to choke out, “Everything is fine.” Though his ricocheting heart said otherwise.

Derek looked at Stiles for a few moments before retuning his focus to the grill. No sooner did he turn away, Stiles whipped his head around to glare at Lydia.

“You better explain yourself. Right. Now.”

Lydia rolled her eyes. “In third grade you tried to declare your undying love for me. But you explained that your parents said you were destined for someone else. Apparently, as a third grader, it didn’t bother you to show me, but you did swear me to secrecy. And you’ll be happy to know that I haven’t broken that promise yet. Mostly because it’s not my secret to tell. But that does not prevent me from voicing my opinion on your self-proclaimed martyr complex. It’s downright stupid.” Lydia took a calming breath and lowered her voice, “I know you think it would make someone’s life worse, but what if you are just what they need?”

Stiles stayed silent for a while, letting Lydia’s words sink in and calculating just how much he was willing to say in front of Allison—who was still sitting quietly at Stiles’ side.

He sighed before beginning, “I…well… It’s just that there are so many factors I look at. Like I told Scott this morning, seeing what my dad went through after my mom… so much pain… I just can’t do that to someone.” He gave a pointed look to Lydia. “And I can’t help question if maybe soulmates aren’t a set-in-stone thing, you know? Look at Scott’s parents. Kind of negates the whole soulmate part. I get that Scott’s dad was an ass, outside substances were an influence and... there was that tipping point, but why couldn’t that be put aside? Why couldn’t they move forward? Then I’m thinking what if soulmates get mixed up or something? I’ve never been approached by my soulmate. We can’t both suffer from martyr complex… right?”

Lydia scoffed, “Stiles, honey, you do remember who you are talking about right? There have never been two people that suffer from bigger martyr complexes!”

Stiles continued to ramble on, as if he never heard Lydia, “And then I’m like what if there are like threesome soulmates. Though I admit it’s not my best theory name but it seemed to fit what I was trying to get across,” he added in a stage whisper, “What if like I have one person, they have another person, and their person has me??? I’m not really the sharing type.”

Stiles shook his head and put his face in his hands, “I’ve thought about this way too much,” he mumbled into his palms. 

And the truth was that he had. At every moment when nothing else was happening, the thoughts were eating at the back of his mind. Why hadn’t [i]Derek[/i] said a single thing?

“Stiles…” Allison’s voice breaking the silence, “I know my aunt didn’t follow the soulmate path. I would guess that she can’t be the only one.” She paused for a moment, not willing to steal a glance at the person they were probably all thinking of… (Meanwhile Stiles was internally screaming). “But regardless, if you’ve been lucky enough to meet your person, I think you should say something. There are still way too many people that don’t get the chance.” 

She smiled softly and glanced down, “Sorry if it’s not my place. That was just the hopeless romantic in me popping out.”

“Allison.” Stiles said while leaning in and placing an arm around her shoulders, “I sure hope Scotty-boy knows how lucky he is to have you.” Allison gave another shy smile at the complement. 

Though he would never admit it to Scott, Stiles was secretly jealous that the universe would land Scott someone like Allison. Not to say that Scott didn’t deserve someone like Allison, being the adorable puppy he is. Stiles just wished he could have someone like that, instead of the hot, broody, tortured…

“STILES!” Lydia yelled, pulling him out of his thoughts, “Thank god no one ended up with mind reading abilities. The amount of things you must think about on a daily basis would drive them insane.” She absentmindedly smoothed the blouse she was wearing. “But I thought I would let you know that I’ve done my fair share of research into the topic. When everything happened with Jackson, I wasn't sure if it was going to work out. I loved him (and still do) but I thought maybe something was lost in translation. How was I supposed to be with something like that? I admit it was one of my weaker moments. I did find a few mentions of soulmates somehow being incompatible, but it never mentioned soulmates being meant for someone else or one-sided soulmates. If you have their name, they have to have yours.” She patted his knee and stood up, clearly noticing the noise that was coming their way from deeper in the woods. It was apparent that the game of tag had concluded.

Stiles continued to sit with his face in his hands, finding no need to re-greet his friends returning from the woods. If what Lydia said was true, why was Derek completely ignoring it? Was he ashamed to be paired with Stiles? Was he embarrassed that a guy like him would be paired with a lackluster guy like Stiles? It’s not that Stiles purposely acted the way he did, it just happens. If Derek was too full of himself to see that, maybe they really weren’t meant to be.

Stiles stood up then, deciding that he was no longer in the mood to hang out with everyone. He brushed off his pants and turned to start walking to where they had all parked their cars, at the Hale house. 

“Stiles! Hey, Stiles, where are you going?” Scott called as he jogged after Stiles, being the first to notice.

Stiles scratched his head, “I’m feeling tired so I think I’ll just call it a night.”

“But Stiles, we haven’t even made S’mores yet!” Scott tried his best puppy dog expression, with pleading eyes.

“I’m just not feeling it Scott, sorry.”

Scott gave a quick head tilt, really looking like a confused puppy, “Alright. Drive safe. But you would tell me if something was really wrong, right?”

“Mmm.” Was all Stiles said. He continued walking towards the Jeep, got in, and drove home. It was probably the safest he had ever driven, trying to stay completely focused on driving and not letting any other thoughts infiltrate his brain.

What Stiles didn’t know, however, was the amount of times Derek asked the pack for the next hour and a half whether Stiles was okay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something to hold everyone over while I decide what direction this fic is going to take, i.e. do I add some bad-y action or not. I've had the ending scene planned for a while, I'm just not sure how to get to that point without time jumping or making things awkward.
> 
> As always this is unbeta'd, all mistakes are my own. Comments/Questions/Suggestion are always welcome.  
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://www.theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming.tumblr.com)

“Stiles?” His father questioned from the living room as he heard the door open and close.

Stiles sighed as he toe’d off his shoes and put his keys in the ceramic bowl by the door, “Yeah Dad, it’s me.”

“I didn’t expect you home for a few hours. How was…” his father’s words cut off as Stiles rounded the corner, into his father’s view. The Sheriff was, unfortunately, too used to the expression Stiles wore. Too used to the emotions that he could almost feel rolling off of his son. He was off the couch in seconds, squeezing his son tightly in a world famous Stilinski hug. 

They stood like this for a while, Stiles accepting that he wanted nothing more in the world than tight embraces and being able to feel at peace. Because despite what he told everyone, denying himself his supposed soulmate was tearing him apart. It felt like there was a piece of him missing, and he wasn’t talking about horcruxes.

John was the one to end the hug. He slowly released his grip on Stiles, only to bring both his hands to rest on Stiles’ upper arms. He gently pushed his son backwards so he could look at his face. 

“Uh” John cleared his throat, “If you don’t mind me asking, what is it this time?” Because although he knew these looks all too well, there were still multiple reasons why Stiles could look so down in the dumps like he did.

“Dad, I can’t. I’ve talked about it way too many times today and I just can’t anymore. I really just want to head upstairs and go to bed. And hopefully I’ll magically wake up with no memory of a majority of today.” He squeezed his father’s shoulder and gave him a fake smile (which he knew his father saw right through).

John let out a reluctant sigh, “Alright kiddo. I love you.”

Stiles gave a small smile and turned towards the stairs. He took them at a slow pace, running his hand up the railing as he went. He paused at the top, taking a deep breath before continuing onto his room. Once inside, he quietly closed the door and moved towards his bed. He didn’t even bother removing the pants or shirts he had on, he just flopped down face first onto the blankets.

He considered for a moment whether he should take one of his sleeping pills. Though his panic attacks and nightmares concerning his mother happened few and far between now, his doctor had suggested keeping prescriptions active just in case. He just hoped that sleep would take him quickly.

It didn’t.

Stiles glanced at his bedside clock to see that an entire hour had passed since he first entered his room and he was no closer to sleep now than he had been then. Now those sleeping pills weren’t sounding so bad. He rolled over to get up out of bed when a sound outside made him stop in his tracks.

It was clearly the sound of someone jumping onto the garage roof outside his window. 

“Oh no Scott, not in the mood tonight.” He moved quickly towards the window to make sure it was locked. Only he wasn’t met with Scott’s golden eyes on the other side, but a pair of bright red ones, “Yep, definitely not in the mood” he mumbled. His next statement he spoke louder, “Sorry, visiting hours are over, come back at another time.” He turned to walk back towards his bed.

“Stiles, just open the window,” Derek called through the glass.

“And why should I do that?,” Stiles said, turning his head to the side though he knew the wolf could hear him no matter what direction he spoke in.

Derek gave a reluctant sigh, “Because no one in the pack could tell me what was wrong and I was worried.” 

If only the glass was thicker. If only Derek was not as close to the window. Stiles would have missed those last words and might have made it through the night without his heart shattering even more. Because despite everything, despite whatever was keeping them apart, Derek still cared for Stiles. And maybe that would be enough for now.

Stiles turned back towards then window to find Derek watching him intently.

“I was just having an off day. It happens sometimes, you know? I thought hanging out with everyone would help a little bit and it did, but certainly not enough.” He moved towards the window and opened it, “Thanks for worrying about me though. It helps actually. Sometimes I just feel so invisible being the human and all.”

“You’re not invisible Stiles. Everyone in the pack cares about you. Some might not know how to show it, but they do. And if Scott is making you feel invisible, maybe you should think about a new best friend or I could beat said best friend.” A smile played with the corner of Derek’s mouth.

“Hey, no beating up said best friend, buddy. So sometimes he has his Allison blinders on, I’ve learned to live with it. And maybe he doesn’t think before he opens his mouth. It’s a common trait we share, though my brain to mouth filter has a tendency to be on the fritz slightly more than his does.” He shrugged his shoulders, “What are you gonna do, we’re kind of a package deal.”

Derek looked up and shook his head, “You and your package deal cause me so much grief sometimes.”

“There’s the sourwolf I know. I’m glad to see the eye-rolls and eyebrow game are back, that mushy stuff was starting to get to me.” Stiles raised his fist to lightly punch Derek in the shoulder, but soon realized they were too far apart and the open window was going to prevent the distance from closing. He awkwardly brought his hand back around to scratch the back of his head, “Well Derek, I should uh, I should get going. Big day of doing absolutely nothing tomorrow and all. Thanks for stopping by, good talk, and all that stuff. Hopefully you can see yourself down from the roof.”

Derek nodded, “Good Night Stiles”

Stiles watched him turn around and jump from the garage roof. He waited a few minutes before closing the window and muttering ‘thanks for caring’ to the night air.


End file.
